And I’m ill in bed got a stinking cold and feel like poo. Nelly went off to the Immigration Museum with Marilyn whilst I slept all day.

He had a lovely time but who knows what the population of Oz would be if he’d been on the border control. Apparently he let people in that would be refused by the authorities – on the game he played at the museum – imagine them having black people…. They banned the Chinese for a long time and would only recruit from Europe for a lot of the past. who’d have thought a bunch of ill educated ex cons would have been so bigoted, it’s never been like that back home…. oh other than the British virgin trains ticket inspector we met who did the usual “come over here stealing our jobs” routine when we were talking about immigration in the Uk. How can a person say that sort of thing to complete strangers? do we look like members of the BNP? I know nelly has a skinhead and perhaps this t shirt was a bit tight but really!

Eventually managed to get out of my pit for a trip out in the car to see Williamstown, a lovely suburb full of the Edwardian wooden houses (costing up to $1.5million) and a visit to marcel’s house (one of the above mentioned traditional houses) which was gorgeous. So if we can have one of these we’ll move over straight away thank you.

Theres also a waterfront where they first landed the crims in 1770odd. Apparently they used to chain people below the waterline. Perhaps virgin could look at something similar.

Bed early as it’s flying home day tomorrow. What is a girl to wear? Slacks.

Would I move to Oz? Not sure. Everyone we met wants us too but then you get the impression they do that to everyone…. Lol. Not certain what benefits it would bring, the telly is shit and there’s no Corrie and I’m not sure you can buy vegetables over here. Would I look good in a wife beater and driving a ute? Would I ever tan. Apparently they all get so little sun cos its hot they should all be taking vitamin D tablets. Expect an outbreak of rickets any day now. No stopping pigs in alleys there then.

As I write this I’m sitting on the plane back from Melbourne. It’s the A380 double decker thing and it’s lovely. Like riding in a new car compared to the Magic Bus BA call a 747. What a turd that plane was, anyway, I’ll tell you more later as I’m off to ram the knitting needles of the woman in 74G so far down her throat she might actually cover her bloody mouth when she has her coughing fits. I’m sure I’ll have Consumption by the time we land. Bye.