Well I’m not currently in prison tho I might be by the time we land after leg one (7.5hrs) Melbourne to Singapore.

Flying Qantas all the way home on the new airbus a380 and it’s marvellous. Even cattle class is actually pleasant. You can barely tell you’re on a plane other than it’s full of smiling gay men (def not in Manchester then, they are too fabulous to smile and can only manage a Victoria beckham pout) with decent leg room on Recarro seats (perhaps we do a 360 before landing) fab entertainment systems and seat to seat messaging but unfortunately it’s turned off by default so no sending online messages to the cutey a few seats up.

Pleased to say we aren’t surrounded by screaming children, they are in the cabin in front. Haha. We do however have hacking knitting woman who will be the first woman to knit her own spleen if she doesn’t cover her mouth soon. How she’s made it to 70 lord only knows. Let’s hope she’s knitting a noose.

Ooh the man next to me (hacking knitters hubby) is watching a Hattie jacques film, might have to look that one up. I’m on Adele 21 for the thousandth time. It’s on my playlist and I’m waiting for Keane to come on, jeeze I might not make it home….

Tea was something I could actually eat all of. Chicken with homemade gravy, I wonder which trolley dollys turn it was to make that before they came to work. Another made some little tiramasu and a thirds done cheese and crackers. Bravo qantas.

4.5 hours in and 3 more to go. Best get some kip. Been given some Valium… Perhaps I should wait for the 13.5hr flight after Singapore for them. Perhaps I won’t bother at all, off my tits at 39,000ft isn’t the way i planned to go. Gin and co codamol it is then. DOLLY!