Started the day dropping the car off, just under 2200km done, in central melbourne then walked through town towards federation square and by the time we got there we were a bit depressed. Think we’d built it up in our heads how fab it was going to be and it wasn’t. Some of the new architecture is not nice, especially Fed Square. Why does it all have to look like Battlestar Gallakticer? Not friendly, not welcoming, not happy.

We hopped on the free tram round the city which took us past the docks, again not much good, architecture wise, but least we got to see some good old ones. Occasionally.

As we got off we thought we’d go to an area called the lanes and have a look round but had no idea where it was. Cue a pop up helpful man in a hi viz jacket who insisted he took us there himself. Another fabulous Australian. Not bad for a penal colony.

The lanes were lovely little back streets off the main drag and at last we started to like melbourne. Phew. Our spirits lifted further as we came across a sandwich shop that wasn’t charging the earth for nowt on a bun. Hurrah. We sat in the wintery sun and enjoyed the view outside their St paul’s cathedral, its not quite ours though. Tho not the passing punters, they arent erm, as body conscious as Sydney. And they all wear skinny jeans. I’m not jealous. Not.

Went to Joy 94.9 in the afternoon, Melbourne’s LGBT community radio station who were the nicest bunch of folks going. They got me making a video, went live on air (we got 2 texts on whilst I was on for 10 mins!) made an advert for a competition an ident for a show and Pre recorded an interview for a travel show. Had a fab time and it was great to meet people as interested in community radio and it’s benefits but on the other side of the world. They’re celebrating 18 years on air this October. We’re just doing 10 in the UK.

In the evening we went to St Kilda a gay and backpackers part of the city, and had a great meal and then on to a club. A club at our age! Nowhere to sit and you couldn’t gear yourself speak and $15 to get in.

3 becks and a coke, guess how much…. $30! The bottles of becks were probably £6 each! Tho I forgot to tell you I had a pint of guinness the other day which was $7.50 – about £4.70. And they manage to keep a straight face as they ask for the money. Alcoholism really isn’t an option here! Tho apparently E’s are around $50 (£32) each and £2 at home. I daren’t ask about poppers! Tho that’s not what it was since they banned the original chemicals cos you can make bombs out of it apparently. Who discovered that then? The same bloke that discovered that sharks liver treats piles probably. Doesn’t burn your face anymore when someone knocks in to you when it’s shoved up your nose or you do the pouring up your nose one…. I’ll tell you about my escapades on it another day….

Anyway, The club was great and put on a cabaret called “boylesque” so lots of very fit boys dancing and miming to Hi-NRG versions of Adele wearing very little. Would Adele approve? Probably. Worth the $15 other than feeling like a dad at a school disco. Tho no orange tan and none of the camp attitude that boys think is oh so smart and cool that you get in Britain.

Starting to like Melbourne more.

BBQ in our honour tomorrow….