Arrived in Melbourne after a whole day spent in the car and I mean all day. We got in at Phillip Island at 9 am and got out at 6 this evening having driven through Melbourne about 11 on the way to the Great Ocean Road, about 170 miles from Cowes and we were relying on a free open source sat nav on my iPhone which we knew had a habit of telling you one thing and showing you another “take the first exit on the roundabout” whilst showing you a picture of the second exit or taking you off at a motorway junction to bring you straight back on again. So I’m not certain we went the correct way through the motorway junctions of the centre of Melbourne when we got on to the freeway immediately behind the car we were following when we got off when it told us to a junction or so before but we seemed to stay on a motorway at all times. Go figure. Then there was a five lane bit over a large bridge whilst sandwiched between two large wagons. That caused a tightening I can tell you.

Hairy bit over we cruised along at 60mph on very straight and long roads and eventually got to the Great Ocean Road – the only road we’ve come across in Australia in 2000km that tells you that they drive on the left. Now This long and bendy road is 100km from Melbourne and the nearest international airport and there are no ferries so how do they think these foreign drivers got here? By driving on the wrong side all the way? Or is it that this most southerly part of Oz is so reminiscent of the Cote d’azure that tourists in their hired Hyundai Getzs will forget themselves and set off on the wrong way?

The GOR is great to drive if A) you’re the driver and not the passenger apparently and B) you don’t get stuck behind Miss Daisy. And apparently the view of the ocean is amazing, I didn’t see it I was too busy trying to find a place to pass said daisy woman. Very kindly the Aussies put passing places in and signs that you should consider the drivers behind you and pull in if you are going slow. Lord knows how slow this has to be as this woman doing 40k (about 25mph) would not move over.

Eventually we made it to the 12 Apostles a number of rocks just off the coast surrounded by Japanese tourists. Could i count 12? No.

Back in the car we had our final 3.5 hour drive to Melbourne to stay with our friend Mark in Yarraville. Driving across land reminded me of Norfolk in parts and Derbyshire in others, but on a massive scale. All very green and pleasant.

Out in Yarraville last night, a slightly gay area of town and had a lovely meal in a restaurant where one bottle of wine was $950 and the cheapest was $47. Fortunately we weren’t paying!